Good afternoon, Parents.
Well, I had truly hoped to write on my blog once a week as mentioned below, and I'm hopeful that eventually I'll get there, but at the moment, it seems to be once a month. By the way, if you would like to leave a comment, you'll have to sign in first - no anonymous "blogging" here! Once a week, I'll check for comments and get back to you.
An issue came up this week that I want to mention to everyone. I'm not sure that you realize that Carmel is a unique school. If we were in the U.S., for example, you would find schools for Reform Jews, Conservative Jews, Modern Orthodox Jews, some "community" day schools, and everything in-between and on either side, but it would be rare to find a school like this one with everyone under one roof. I have to say that this is something I love about Carmel!
Given what a diverse group we are, we always have to be sensitive to the needs of the children and families around us...which brings me to the issue of Birthday Parties. All parents want to have the perfect birthday party for their children - the exact venue, entertainment, food, cake, etc. that their children want on their special day. However, for the most part, children like to fit in with their peers - it's rare at young ages for children to want to seem different from others in their class.
So...if your child wants the beautiful, pink, flowery cake with pictures of her favorite Disney princesses on it, you want her to have it. What happens, though, when some of the children in her class keep kosher and therefore, in Hong Kong, can only eat cake from the JCC, and the JCC can't make that princess cake? It's a dilemma - do you give your child the cake she wants on her birthday and get a separate kosher cake or cupcake for the children who can't eat it? Do you run the risk of an unhappy child who didn't get what she wanted for her party?
I would like to suggest the following, which might not be the perfect answer, but I think it's the best way to live together in a diverse community: it's essential for all children to feel cared for, welcome, wanted, and happy at a birthday party. To that end, I would say that all children need to be included - not in a separated way (their own little cake or cupcake), but rather equal to all children at the party. So like it or not, that means in most cases, buying the birthday cake from the JCC. You can use it as a "teachable moment," as we in the education profession say, to show your child how to be kind to and thoughtful of ALL of her friends and make everyone feel wanted at her birthday party, just as she would hope to feel at theirs. You can always get the princess cake for the family to have together in the evening!
With best regards and Shabbat Shalom,
Lauren
P.S. Stay tuned after the winter break for upcoming "Coffee with the Principal" mornings!
